Pointless
by biggrstaffbunch
Summary: It happens during the Battle of Hogwarts. It happens while everyone is fighting for their life, and Nymphadora Tonks is fighting for her love. How what Harry came to see in the Great Hall came to be. [DH spoilers][RemusxTonks]


- - -

"Dolohov!"

Tonks has never forseen _screaming_ a name that notorious. But then, she supposes wryly, there's never before been such ample opportunity to court danger. Shouting a wanted Death Eater's name across a crowded, surging battlefield, that's one way she's never tried yet to flirt with a Killing Curse. But she can't help it; in all her years as an Auror, she's never been more impatient to find someone, and so lost as to how to go about and do that.

Yelling Remus's name would do no good--it'd just distract those on her side, and probably alert her husband to the fact that she wasn't playing nice and kipping with her son back at mum's. Tonks may be eager to find her mate, but she isn't looking forward to being told off and then man-handled home, which is what would happen should Remus find her, instead of her finding Remus first.

Yelling Dolohov's name, Dolohov, who was the last seen Death Eater dueling with Remus--now _that's_ a fool-proof way to get some answers.

Apparently. _Or_ it's a fool-proof way to get about a million hexes thrown in a person's general direction. Either way, Tonks is pretty confident no one will be able to ignore her now, and that's all she's asking. Mostly. That and to be with Remus again, to make sure he's safe and solid and not getting ripped apart by werewolves or killed by the Dark Arts or running away from her again.

_Zoom._ A beam of light zips past Tonks's head and hits a wall behind her, leaving a deep scorch.

The getting killed by the Dark Arts thing is seeming the likeliest way of _not_ being safe and solid right now. She trips and narrowly dodges a red stream of light as a masked Death Eater catches her eyes and makes to give chase. Tonks whips her wand in a wide X, whispers a charm beneath her breath and begins to run. The X shimmers in the air and then catches light, trapping the Death Eater in its flaming net.

Tonks doesn't like to light people on fire as a general rule, but after seeing the way the Snatchers had played with her dad before handing him over to the Ministry, just to be murdered... she figures her side owes the other.

"Dolohov," she shouts again, searching the masses surging through the barricades of Hogwarts for a glimpse of Dolohov's crazy eyes, or for more familiar, dear-to-her brown and grey-streaked hair. As Tonks runs, she aims Stunning spells and Disarming spells this way and that, smiling in approval as she watches children best grown men and women, as she watches her Auror friends fight back against the evil that's kept them on the run and under restrictive, Dark eye for so long.

It's freeing, being able to see firsthand a Resistance she was unable to take part in for much of the year.

_I love Teddy_, she thinks ruefully, _But I have missed this so much._ A flick of her wand and a Death Eater shrieks, hanging by his ankles upside down in the air. Then another flick and a swoop, and she's hurling a jinx at two Death Eaters running up the hill, watching their legs turn to boneless heaps as they quail. She smiles, spares a moment to mentally memorize the sweet face of her baby boy, the curious eyes that are exactly Remus's, the tiny little mouth that seems to always smile like hers. _Please keep him safe,_ she prays_. Because I can't right now. I love him too much to come home without his dad in tow._

Tonks knows the pain of losing a father, misses Ted Tonks like a limb, and the instant Remus disapparated from her mum's home, telling her to keep Teddy safe, she vowed like hell if she'd ever let her son know that pain as well.

The past year has seen a lot of indulgences on Tonks's part: letting Remus act the part of the very mad bastard, alternately loving and leaving her. She hasn't ever been driven so around the bend as when, on her _honeymoon_, she spent hours placating him as he relayed worry after stupid worry about her well-being, her status in society, and the ever-popular "too old, too poor" argument. Then, after months of enduring that miserable look on his face whenever they ventured out, Tonks had found herself dealing with Remus's fun new neuroses about their burgeoning child:

_"Why are you acting like a prat, Remus?" she'd bit out when he'd told her he was leaving. _

_"I'm scared, all right?" he'd retorted. "And I have reason to be, don't give me that look, Nymphadora! Bringing a child into the world when one is afflicted like me...it's irresponsible at best, fatal at worst. And during wartime, no less--"_

_"Remus." A Full-Body-Bind and Remus's face had frozen in an irate, surprised expression. "Listen to me. We are married. We are expecting a child. Deal with it." Her lips had brushed against his. "No matter how many times you go, I'll follow. Love isn't leaving, Remus. Not ever."_

Tonks is and always will be a long haul sort of woman, and perhaps it was a bit hasty to assume Remus would be the same, but she stuck it out, and would never presume to do any different. And after Teddy was born, she and Remus did get some brief, shining moments of (mostly) unfettered happiness. Enough for her to make allowances of Remus's very overprotective nature.

But she draws the line at the fact that the infuriating, adorable man thinks he can walk into this battle like its his own to fight.

She knocks out an approaching Death Eater with a well-aimed punch, the first bit of physical she's gotten since she first found out she was pregnant. "That," she spits viciously, "is for my father." A kick at the masked man, right in the kidneys. "And for my husband," she adds, as an afterthought.

Though Remus is always quite far from an afterthought. To prove it, she looks wildly around again, her desperation ratcheting up a few notches as she realizes that the battle has gotten so heated, so chaotic--and spread so far beyond the normal boundaries--that finding even Dolohov in this mess, let alone Remus, is next to impossible.

_I won't give up,_ she thinks stubbornly. _He was always waiting for me to give up and he finally got it through his thick skull that I wouldn't, I can't fail him now._ Her eyes blur and she stuns another Death-Eater, kicking away his wand. _We can't lose this. I can't lose him._

"DOLOHOV!" Her voice carries far enough for a great many Death Eaters to stop and look at her, but there are just as many resistors fighting back just as hard, and Tonks's heart is gladdened to see her shout distracted some of the evil bastards enough so that students and Aurors alike could gain the upper hand.

"Looking for me, Mudblood?"

Tonks spins, sees a gaunt-looking man in a dark robe, with black eyes and a blacker smile. Dolohov's arm is clamped around the windpipe of a struggling seventh year, and as concerned as Tonks is for the poor girl, she feels an icy wash of fear come over her. If Dolohov is playing around with a kid, what has he done to her husband?

Instead of bantering, she aims a jinx straight at the student. Without warning, the student melts and shrinks out of Dolohov's arms, and Tonks mutters a charm to keep the Death Eater busy while the kid continues turning into a giant canary.

"Thank you, Weasley twins," she mutters. Then, with a quick flick of her wrist, she sends Dolohov flying, and mutters the counter-jinx, leaping over the rapidly morphing (_again_) student and aiming another curse at Dolohov.

"Where," she says dangerously, "Is Remus?"

Her wand shakes at Dolohov's throat as he laughs. "Greyback the Savage is here," he says, in a sing-song voice. "I heard he's out for another taste of your husband--says little boys aren't nearly so sweet as full-grown men."

Tonks kicks Dolohov _hard_, glorying in the wheeze that expels from the man's mouth, and the pained look in his eyes. "Yeah, well, I'll make sure to feed him your bullocks on a plate, then," she says conversationally. She kicks him again. "Where is he?"

"Tonks?" Tonks whips around and sees Remus leaning against a tree, looking dazed and bruised, but otherwise in good shape. Tonks recognizes the glazed-over expression on his face of someone who has just awoken from a Stunner spell.

"Hullo, darling," Tonks says, relief flooding her enough that she eeks out a cheeky grin. She turns to meet Remus with a hug and a kiss, perhaps a hex or two, when he yells out, his eyes wide in panic.

"Tonks! Watch out--"

She turns as a jet of orange light hits her in the chest, and then she finds herself sprawled out on the ground, white-hot pain spearing through her body.

"You just cursed my wife, you bastard!" Remus yells, pushing away from the tree, sending a complex array of curses Dolohov's way. The Death Eater is instantly engulfed in shiny, glinting needles, screaming as they poke into his skin and--ouch, Tonks winces--his eyes.

"Remus," Tonks gasps. He kneels by her side and mutters a Healing spell (he's always so good at Healing spells, she muses dazedly) and then the wand is spreading over her and the stabbing pain is gone. She quickly sits up and grabs Remus's hand, pulling him out of the way as dueling combatants make their way past them.

"What are you doing here, I told you to stay home--"

"I'm not Ginny Weasley, Remus! I won't be stowed away in a tower by well-meaning men who love me!" Tonks looks over Remus's shoulder at Dolohov, who is starting to get up again. _The little Death-Eater that could_, she thinks wryly.

"Men? What other well-meaning man loves you?" Remus asks, looking comically put out for the sort of situation they're in.

"It's an expression, dolt! You're the only man for me, tragically." She leans forward and gives him a warm kiss. "Now move, he's waking up and I don't fancy him _Avada_'ing you while you're looming over me. You're quite heavy, you know."

Remus flashes a quick smile. "Sympathy weight, I'm told," he retorts, and she sends an outraged glare his way as they both stand, wands drawn.

"Incidentally," she says, sending a curse at a nearby giant spider, one of many that look to be heading to the castle. "Ginny Weasley isn't stowed away in her tower anymore. Did you know the little brat snuck out of the Room of Requirement with me? I'm a bad influence, I think Harry will be rather put out with her."

"I know how he feels," Remus says coolly, erecting a shield around two huddling seventh-years.

"I asked her to be godmother," she says. "What do you think?" A curse goes flying by her head and she pins her eyes on Dolohov, who has gotten up.

"I say it's brilliant, if both of you manage to _live_," Remus answers darkly. He sends a curse of his own at Dolohov, but it misses and dodges by the tree. Tonks spares him an offended glance and rolls her eyes at Dolohov, who sneers.

"I don't think either of you will live, once the Dark Lord makes his way here. Or perhaps I'll finish you off for him, give him a nice present--Harry Potter's precious friends, dead."

She whips her cloak off and gives a stern look. "If old snakeskin thinks we're that important, I feel very special, actually," she says. "Don't you, Remus?" She sends a jelly-legs jinx at Dolohov, who dances out of the way.

"Indeed," Remus says gravely, joining in. Dolohov hits the the ground, but not before he gets a curse out. Tonks is suddenly wracked by a thousand tremors, her whole body shaking so much she can't see. She closes her eyes and mutters a first-year spell, and suddenly Dolohov is hovering in the air, his wand on the ground.

When she stops shaking a moment later, staring into Remus's disapproving gaze, she looks up at Dolohov and says, "I am a trained law-enforcement official and certainly not as easy to kill as both you and my husband seem to think. Now--"

"--_get away from my husband, scum!_" With a mighty bellow, Tonks aims her wand at a Death Eater named Travers, who's trying to sneak up unnoticed behind Remus. Travers yells as he is lifted in the air and slammed against a tree in an ungraceful arc. Dolohov, however, falls, and scrambles for his wand.

He sends a stunning spell at Remus, and Tonks pushes him out of the way, growling. Remus gets to his feet and turns to face Travers, who's trying to get up, and Tonks goes back to back with Remus, taking aim at Dolohov.

"You need to go home, Tonks, you're obviously not at the peak of your game--" Remus says, his wand a blur.

"Well, no, I'm actually a bit under attack by _Death-Eaters_, not whistling teakettles, Remus!" Tonks spits, choosing not to point out that she was also big as a house for nine months and therefor a bit out of practice.

"You used to have to fight whisting teakettles?" Remus sounds curious for a moment.

"It was on our Auror evals, the Leatherfaced One hadn't exactly risen yet. Look, in any case, I'm here to help. Don't worry, Teddy is safe--"

"You brought our son with you?" Remus shouts, his wand waving frantically as he begins to duel in earnest with Travers. Dolohov is sending spells left and right, and it's all Tonks can do to use defensive magic instead of the offensive magic she's so used to.

"He's with my _mum_," Tonks retorts, shooting a stream of water at the shield of fire Dolohov has constructed. The ground shakes and rumbles, and she struggles to hold her footing. "I'm not batty enough to bring him here!"

"Your _mum_ is," Remus says wildly, "She's batty as hell! I wouldn't trust her alone with a day-old kitten!" Travers winces as Remus slashes a curse across his face, twin gashes curving a sinister smile in the Death-Eater's visage.

"Oh, that's rich," Tonks sneers, lobbing a fireball of her own up and around Dolohov's damn shield. "You've trusted _me_ alone with her--an emphasis on alone, by the way--a great many times this past year! And for what? Your stupid affinity for being completely miserable?!"

"Yes, well, perhaps that was all...remiss of me." Remus's voice is low, and Tonks chances a look over her shoulder as Dolohov howls in pain, as Travers crouches against the slashing wounds all over his body. "But I'm sad to say you left Teddy for just as _moronic_ of a reason as I left you! I don't need you to protect me, Dora, I need you _home_--"

Tonks seriously considers hexing Remus, just on principle, but Dolohov is calling out curses and jeers, and she can't concentrate well enough to hex consecutively. She aims her stunner at Dolohov, but gives Remus a nasty laugh. "You're one to talk about moronic, husband mine! I'm an Auror, or have you forgotten? I'm _trained_ to fight, not sit home and play with the baby while fretting over the love of my _life_--"

"We must wage battles every day we decide to live our lives together, Dora! I didn't want to add this fight to the list!"

"But I _want_ to fight this fight!" Tonks shouts, almost uncaring of what curses were now slipping from her wand. "Don't you dare--_protego_-- justify the ways you've left me over this past year--_stupefy!_--and then condemn my choice to leave Teddy. _You_ left Teddy and I because you were scared to commit to the choices we made as a unit, Remus--oh, for the love of Merlin, stay down, Dolohov, _stupefy_!"

Tonks stuns Dolohov hard and then she and Remus wordlessly switch positions, back to back again, with her facing Travers this time.

"But _I_ left Teddy because I was scared of _not_ honoring those choices. Bonded for life, Remus, through sickness and failed Prevention charms, even!"

"I know what I promised," Remus roars, and he ducks, falls flat to the ground as Dolohov sends a curse flying. Tonks feels a burning envelope her body, and she looks down in shock, realizing that of all the fire she lit today, now she's the one playing the effigied. "TONKS!"

Remus mutters the charm, and water douses Tonks quite suddenly, but before he can heal her, she sees Travers and Dolohov come together and aim their wands. With difficulty, because her skin is tight and red and blistering, she mutters a shield charm, wincing as twin beams of green light hit it. The shield wavers as her wand hand shakes, but then Remus is supporting her arm and aiming his wand behind them, keeping them protected while playing the offense, too.

As angry as he can get with her, as much as they don't see eye to eye, he does love her. She's always known it, but feeling his hand around her elbow, seeing the murder in his eyes as he keeps Death Eaters at bay...it almost makes her weepy.

Tonks spares a moment to mutter a healing charm, closing her eyes as the skin knits together and smooths out. So soon after having the baby, her body still feels weird and slow, and her morphing ability is suffering, too. Usually she just wills the skin to mold and change, but now she's at the mercy of her own magical skills.

"Merlin help us all," she says to herself, and shakes off Remus's hand, intent on fighting again. Their shield won't hold long, and there are more Death Eaters coming.

Remus hears her. "Quite," he says tersely.

Tonks shakes her head. "Your confidence in me is astounding," she says sweetly, kissing him.

"Your confidence in yourself is troubling," Remus lobs back, skimming the back of her neck with his hand. A curse flies over his shoulder and misses her by a centimeter, and Tonks whoops.

"I love you, too, sweetling," she says, laughing, dancing away.

"Dora--God, Dora, you're going to get _killed_--" the utter fear in his eyes is wild to behold, and Tonks wants to reassure him, but she's too busy hurling another curse at a trio of Death Eaters who have come to back up Dolohov and Travers.

Then they are in the thick of battle, and the lights are so bright and almost pretty that Tonks thinks of fireworks for a split second. Spells fly by her at top speed, singing her hair with the heat and the force of it. She narrows her eyes and concentrates, calling upon every ounce of knowledge she ever picked up, every reflex she ever honed. This is what Auror training was all about, this is what it all led up to. If she dies today, she's almost inclined to say it's fine, because Remus will live, and Remus will love their baby, and she will have done her job.

Her hair keeps changing color, from pink to purple to red to green, and the braid down her shoulder sparkled multicolored at one point. If she dies today, yes, it _will_ be fine, because she's got this one moment where she feels absolutely alive, side by side with her husband, her child safely at home, Harry Potter on his way to vanquish the Dark Lord--

"Avada Kedavra!"

The death curse, louder than Tonks has heard it all night, and her eyes widen in horror when, as if in slow motion, a stream of violently green light parts the crowd, sending Aurors and Death Eaters and students alike, diving left to right. She turns her head without even realizing she's doing it and it's as if her limbs are frozen in place, a curse dangling from her lips, a shield almost leaving her wand, as the lights keep criss-crossing and the spells keep flying in the background. And that one stream of green light keeps dividing the ranks until it hits its target in the back, and when the man falls, Tonks goes numb and hot all over.

Staring up at the sky, his hair flopping familiarly over his forehead, his eyes fixed and wide, is her husband. The father of her child. The man she has loved beyond measure, the man she has fought for, the man she was ready to die for tonight.

The man she is ready to kill for.

The spell breaks over her, and grief crashes over her like waves, and she dives forward, screaming Remus's name. Knowing he's dead, knowing he won't wake. Knowing her last words to him were 'I love you,' and knowing it doesn't help. A curse flies at her and she shouts an answering spell, pointing her wand. A shield comes around her, but it's not one of her own, only a vicinity shield from a nearby duelist. Tonks looks down at her wand in confusion, her heart still straying towards Remus.

She tries to shoot off another spell. Nothing happens, and fear grips her for a solitary moment. She look down at her braid and realizes it's a mousy brown. The fear grows exponentially as she looks down at Remus's body, feels the hollow ache in her stomach.

A metamorphagus's magic is highly intuitive, highly empathetic. And right now, when all she is feeling is dead, murdered, slain...her magic is gone. Her wand is useless. There are Death Eaters everywhere, and Remus was right, she's going to _die_--

Through tears she hadn't even realized had started, she drags Remus's body as well as she can under the cover of the trees lining the hills. The curses and spells are still a dizzying display, and she can't Disapparate, she can't call for help, she can't do anything. She knows it's only a matter of time...

Tonks closes her eyes and prays that Harry defeats Lord Thingy before anyone finds them. She sobs, and sobs, thinking of Teddy, thinking of all they were going to teach him, and he'll be fatherless now at best, or an orphan at worst, and she is _so sorry_--

And when she hears half of Hogwarts blown away, when she opens her eyes to see a figure in a mask look up at her and begin to run, she covers Remus's body with hers, thinks of her husband and son, and wonders if her wand is salvageable at all.

Wonders if she even wants it to be.

She doesn't try, and when the green light comes, she never gets to find out.

---finis--

Abrupt ending? Yes, I thought so, too. JUST LIKE JKR. EVAL WOMAN.


End file.
